Top picks from the book “The Subltle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson

CHAPTER-1

“This is why not giving a fuck is so key. This is why it’s going to save the world. And it’s going to save it by accepting that the world is totally fucked and that’s all right, because it’s always been that way, and always will be.”

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” (You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. Notice how sometimes when you stop giving a fuck, everything seems to fall into place?)

“The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.”

“In my life, I have given a fuck about many things. I have also not given a fuck about many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference “

“To not give fuck is to stare down life’s most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action”

“And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without a conscious thought or choice — well, then you’re going to get fucked”

“Say, “Fuck it,” not to everything in life, but rather to everything unimportant in life. Reserve fucks for what truly matters.”

“The problem with people who hand out fucks like ice cream at a goddamn summer camp is that they don’t have anything more fuck- worthy to dedicate their fucks to.”

“”

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Why is it a good idea to write yourself a few paragraphs of self-compassion? (Takeaway exercise from book: WHEN by Daniel H. Pink)

There are times when we feel mentally stuck to something (or in the middle of something) and can’t let go of it. May it be a grudge, an ex, a setback, or a bad past. Could be anything.

But here is a good news. Self-Compassion can help us not only get out of such a situation but also motivates us to be a better version of ourselves.

How does it work?

We are often more compassionate toward others than we are toward ourselves. This can harm our well-being and undermine resilience.

We often give good advices to a third person but seldom could see solution to our problems from a first person perspective. We have biased attitude for our problems. Writing a letter to oneself in a third person perspective gives one an outside frame to look at the problems without a bias.

Exercise (a step by step guide on how to) :

Step-1:

Start by identifying something about yourself that fills you with regret, shame, or disappointment.

(May be you were fired from a job, bunked a class, undermined a relationship, ruined you finances.)

Step-2:

Then write down some specifics about how it makes you feel.

Then, in a couple of paragraphs, write yourself an e-mail (or a diary entry/note) expressing compassion or understanding for this element of your life.Imagine what someone who cares about you might say. He would more likely be forgiving than you. Likewise, write your letter “from the perspective of an unconditionally loving imaginary friend.”

Step-3 (Important): Mix understanding with action. Add a few sentences on what changes you can make to your life and how you can improve in the future.

Re-read your note when you feel like you are stuck in the middle of something because of the same reason. And start taking action about the changes you can make to improve the situation in future.

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Golden rule: such a letter offers a way to treat yourself as you would to others.

Do this exercise to let go of something you have been holding on for long.

Learn the subtle art of “Moving On”

Better things are waiting on the other side 😉.

A relevant Instagram post of Jay shetty:

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My Readlist: 2017

1) RICH DAD POOR DAD

(I highly recommend this book)

2) FREAKONOMICS

3) THINK & GROW RICH

4) THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK

5) THE ONE THING

6) OTHER MENTIONS (not my kind of books)

  • MEN ARE FROM MARS & WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS (upon recommendation from a friend but the book did not resonate to my natural frequency)

  • THE EX FACTOR (the costliest book I have ever bought 57 USD (4000 INR approx, and you can easily get it why 😅)

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That’s all folks!

SLEEPING ON THE JOB 😴 (Takeaway lesson from the book: WHEN by Daniel H. Pink)

(this article will teach you the right way to take a nap at office or anywhere for that matter to improve cognitive performance and boost mental and physical health.

Naps are seen as a mark of shame and sloth but after reading some amazing facts about naps in this article you will be forced to think again)

We sometimes intentionally, most times inadvertently take naps. But when we wake up, we usually feel woozy, wobbly, and befuddled- shrouded in a haze of grogginess and enveloped in a larger cloud of shame.

To most of us, naps are less an element of self-care than a source of self-loathing. They are a sign of personal failure and moral weakness.

But naps when done right, can be a shrewd response to the trough and a valuable break. Naps, research shows, confer two key benefits: They improve cognitive performance and they boost mental and physical health.

Few case studies (based on researches as mentioned in the book:

  • Pilots who napped for up to 40 minutes subsequently showed a 34% improvement in reaction time and a twofold increase in alertness.
  • In another experiment, nappers were twice as likely to solve a complex problem than people who hadn’t napped or who had spent time in other activities.

The correct way to take a nap (concept of sleep inertia):

Yet even after absorbing this evidence, we can remain nap skeptic.

One reason is that when we wake up from a nap, we generally feel as if someone has injected our bloodstreams with oatmeal and replaced our brains with oily rags.

An Australian study published in a journal sleep found that:

  • Five-minute naps did little to reduce fatigue, increase vigour, or sharpen thinking.
  • But ten-minute nap had positive effects that lasted nearly 3 hours.
  • Slightly longer naps were also effective. But once the nap lasted beyond about the twenty-minute mark, our body and brain began to pay a price. That price is known as “sleep inertia” – the confused boggy feeling we typically have upon waking – all that time spent splashing water on our face, shaking upper body, searching desk drawers/fridge for something to eat to get some sugar into the system – subtracts from the naps’ benefits, as this chart makes it clear.

With brief ten to twenty-minute naps, the effect on cognitive functioning is positive from the moment of awakening. But with slightly longer snoozes, the napper begins in a negative territory – that’s sleep inertia – and must dig himself out. And with naps of more than an hour, cognitive functioning drops for even longer before it reaches a pre-nap stage and eventually turns positive.

In general, concludes one analysis of about 20 years of napping research, healthy adults “should ideally nap for approximately 10 to 20 minutes”. Such brief naps “are ideal for workplace settings where performance immediately upon awakening is usually required”.

NAPPUCCINO: (the power nap hack)

In an experiment 3 groups were given a thirty minute mid-afternoon break before sitting them at a driving simulator.

First group was given a placebo pill. Second group was given 200 mg of caffeine. Third received the same 200 mg of caffeine and then took a brief nap. When it came time to perform , the caffeine only group outperformed the placebo group. But the group that ingested caffeine and then had a nap easily bested them both.

Since caffeine takes about 25 minutes to enter the bloodstream, they were getting a secondary boost from the drug by the time their naps were ending.

Other researchers have found the same results – that caffeine, usually in the form of coffee, followed by a nap of 10 to 20 minutes, is the ideal technique for staving off sleepiness and increasing performance.

This coffee-then-nap combination rightfully called (by the author of the book) as the “NAPPUCCINO.”

Adios.

Hasta luego.

Time to take a nappuccino 😉.

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(Interested in learning many more of such scientific time hacks, go on and order “WHEN by Daniel H. Pink” and read the full book).

Chapter Summary : The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down (How to be Calm in a Busy World) -HAEMIN SUNIM

(This article is a chapter summary of the book mentioned. The most important and basic chapter of the book which we all can relate and can learn something which can be applied to our super busy lives to calm it down for a moment, for good).

CHAPTER-1: REST

  • WHY AM I SO BUSY?

When everything around me is moving so fast, I stop and ask, “Is it the world that’s busy, or is it my mind?”

The author explains the situation with an example: A dear friend of her (a buddhist nun) oversaw the construction of a meditation hall in her temple.

She described the construction process in the following way: “When it came time to place tiles on the roof, I saw tiles everywhere I went. I noticed the material they were made of, their thickness, their design. And then, when it was time to install the floor, all I could see were floors. I naturally zeroed in on the color, origin, pattern and durability”.

When we look at the outside world, we are looking at only a small part that interests us. The world we see is not the entire universe but a limited one that the mind cares about. However, to our minds, that small world is the entire universe.

The world comes to exist because we are aware of it. We cannot live in a reality of which we are unaware. What our mind focuses on becomes our world. The world is experienced according to the state of one’s mind. When your mind is joyful and compassionate, the world is too. When your mind is filled with negative thoughts, the world appears negative, too. When you feel overwhelmed and busy, remember that you are not powerless because “When your mind rests, the world also rests”.

  • When Life Disappoints, Rest a Moment

When trust is shattered, when hopes are dashed, when a loved one leaves you, before doing anything, just pause your life and rest a moment.

Surround yourself with close friends, share food and drinks while slowly letting out the stories of disappointment, betrayal, and hurt.

Head to a movie theater alone or with a friend, watch comedy, laugh out loud until it hurts, and shed few tears, as if nobody is watching.

Find a song that speaks to your heart, listen to it over and over again as if it is healing your wounded soul.

If none of that helps, go for a vacation you always wanted. All by yourself. Just you and the road.

After spending sometime alone, go to your own sacred place, close your eyes and clear your mind. Invoke the heart of compassion and feel the embrace of acceptance.

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(Found this article interesting and want to learn more about “how to be Calm in a Busy World?”, go on and order the book ” The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim” and read the full book.

Happy Reading, Happy Learning.

On thoughtbook I will share book summaries, takeaway lessons, quotes, anything and everything that is worth a read.

With the help of this blog, you can maximize learning in minimum amount of time.

I agree that reading a book summary is not equivalent to reading the original book but we can all agree that it can help us takeaway the most important things from a book in a minimum amount of time. And after reading the summary (or takeaways), if you feel like reading the full book, go on.

I will do all the hard work for you and will come up with the most concise and useful content.

HASTA LUEGO.

Keep Reading, Keep Growing.

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