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“This is why not giving a fuck is so key. This is why it’s going to save the world. And it’s going to save it by accepting that the world is totally fucked and that’s all right, because it’s always been that way, and always will be.”
“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. Notice how sometimes when you stop giving a fuck, everything seems to fall into place?
“The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.”
“In my life, I have given a fuck about many things. I have also not given a fuck about many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference “
“To not give fuck is to stare down life’s most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action”
“And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without a conscious thought or choice — well, then you’re going to get fucked”
“Say, “Fuck it,” not to everything in life, but rather to everything unimportant in life. Reserve fucks for what truly matters.”
“The problem with people who hand out fucks like ice cream at a goddamn summer camp is that they don’t have anything more fuck- worthy to dedicate their fucks to.”
“Life is essentially an endless series of problems.”
“Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded. Happiness comes from solving problems. The keyword here is ‘solving’.”The secret sauce is in the ‘solving’ of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.
“Decision-making based on emotional intuition, without the aid of reason to keep it in line, pretty much always sucks.”Emotions are part of equation of our lives, but not the entire equation. Just because something feels good doesn’t mean it is good. Just because something feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad. Emotions are merely signposts, suggestions that our neurobiology gives us, not commandments. Therefore, we shouldn’t always trust our own emotions. In fact, I believe we should make a habit of questioning them.
“What determines your success isn’t, “What do you want to enjoy?” The relevant question is , “What pain do you want to sustain?” The path to happiness is a path full of shitheaps and shame.”(People want to start their own business. But you don’t end up a successful entrepreneur unless you find a way to appreciate the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, the insane hours devoted to something that may earn absolutely nothing.)
“I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love with not the fight but only the victory. And life doesn’t work that way.”
“We’re all, for the most part, pretty average people. But it’s the extremes that get all of the publicity. We kind of know this already, but we rarely think and/or talk about it, and we certainly never discuss why this could be a problem.”We can then say that it’s a statistical improbability that any single person will be an extraordinary performer in all areas of life, or even in many areas of their life. Brilliant businesspeople are often fuckups in their personal lives. Extraordinary athletes are often shallow and as dumb as a lobotomized rock. Many celebrities are probably just as clueless about life as the people who gawk at them and follow their every move.
“Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell curve of human experience, because in the media business that’s what gets eyeballs, and eyeballs bring dollars. That’s the bottom line. Yet the vast majority of life resides in the humdrum middle. The vast majority of life is unextraordinary, indeed quite average. This flood of extreme information has conditioned us to believe that exceptionalism is the new normal. And because we’re all quite average most of the time, the deluge of exceptional information drives us to feel pretty damn insecure and desperate, because clearly we are somehow not good enough. So more and more we feel the need to compensate through entitlement and addiction. “
“The internet has not just open-sourced information; it has also open sourced insecurity, self-doubt, and shame.”
“You will have a growing appreciaton for life’s basic experiences: the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about.
Sounds boring, doesn’t it? That’s because these things are ordinary. But maybe they’re ordinary for a reason: because they are what actually matters.”
“We’re apes. We think we’re all sophisticated with our toaster ovens and designer footwear, but we’re just a bunch of finely ornamented apes.”
“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”(i.e. What values/metrics do you consider for yourself (or others) to be a failure/success)
Some values and metrics are better than others. Some lead to good problems that are easily and regularly solved. Others lead to bad problems that are not easily and regularly solved.
“Pleasure is a false god. Pleasure is the most superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose.”Research shows that people who focus their energy on superficial pleasures end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed.
“When people measure themselves not by their behaviour, but by the status symbols they’re able to collect, then not only are they shallow, but they’re probably assholes as well.”
“It’s far more helpful to assume that you’re ignorant and don’t know a whole lot. This keeps you unattached to superstitious or poorly informed beliefs and promotes a constant state of learning and growth.”
“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
“When we have poor values – that is, poor standards we set for ourselves and others – we are essentially giving fucks about the things that don’t matter, things that in fact make our life worse. But when we choose better values, we are able to divert our fucks to something better – toward things that matter, things that improve the state of our well-being and that generate happiness, pleasure, and success as side effect.”This, in a nutshell, is what “self-improvement” is really about : prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give fuck about. Because when you give better fucks, you get better problems, you get a better life.
“With great responsibility comes great power.”The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives.
“There is a difference between blaming someone else for your situation and that person’s actually being responsible for your situation. Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you. Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness but you. This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things. You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences. “
( Like the quotes from the book? Want to read the full book? Buy from the link : https://amzn.to/2YzoqTb )