Why is it a good idea to write yourself a few paragraphs of self-compassion? (Takeaway exercise from book: WHEN by Daniel H. Pink)

( Buy the book “WHEN” here: https://amzn.to/2KkA3Zl )

There are times when we feel mentally stuck to something (or in the middle of something) and can’t let go of it. May it be a grudge, an ex, a setback, or a bad past. Could be anything.

But here is a good news. Self-Compassion can help us not only get out of such a situation but also motivates us to be a better version of ourselves.

How does it work?

We are often more compassionate toward others than we are toward ourselves. This can harm our well-being and undermine resilience.

We often give good advices to a third person but seldom could see solution to our problems from a first person perspective. We have biased attitude for our problems. Writing a letter to oneself in a third person perspective gives one an outside frame to look at the problems without a bias.

Exercise (a step by step guide on how to) :


Start by identifying something about yourself that fills you with regret, shame, or disappointment.

(May be you were fired from a job, bunked a class, undermined a relationship, ruined you finances.)


Then write down some specifics about how it makes you feel.

Then, in a couple of paragraphs, write yourself an e-mail (or a diary entry/note) expressing compassion or understanding for this element of your life.Imagine what someone who cares about you might say. He would more likely be forgiving than you. Likewise, write your letter “from the perspective of an unconditionally loving imaginary friend.”

Step-3 (Important): Mix understanding with action. Add a few sentences on what changes you can make to your life and how you can improve in the future.

Re-read your note when you feel like you are stuck in the middle of something because of the same reason. And start taking action about the changes you can make to improve the situation in future.


Golden rule: such a letter offers a way to treat yourself as you would to others.

Do this exercise to let go of something you have been holding on for long.

Learn the subtle art of “Moving On”

Better things are waiting on the other side 😉.

A relevant Instagram post of Jay shetty:

( Buy the book “WHEN” here: https://amzn.to/2KkA3Zl )


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